Dishonesty

The Iraq enquiry is underway.

Regardless of whatever conclusions will eventually be reached, one thing is already clear: we were lied to by our government. Regrettably, you cannot take any of their claims seriously any longer. After they lied to us about Iraq and got away with it, they realised they could do so again and again. They're addicted to it, as if it will solve all their problems. They're still lying whenever it suits them, most recently insisting that Spain is a member of the G20 when it clearly isn't. I know it's embarrassing having to admit that the UK is the last G20 nation left in recession, but is it honestly worth telling such blatant whoppers and taking a hit to your (already battered) reputation for honesty?

What happened to the honest and decent Labour party of old? When did it lose its way, and where did it all start to go wrong? That the likes of Mandelson are welcomed says much about the party's descent into the political sewers. Labour was once an honourable party of which members could be proud. These days it is not a cause for which it is worth getting out of bed.

A Marriage of Inconvenience

Miliband is saying that Labour should listen more to trades unions. In reality, I don't think they have much choice any more.

In order to save the Labour Party, it was all but married to Unite last year. Yes, that's right. We heard a lot about building societies being bailed out by Nationwide, and banks being taken over by others because of their debts. All marriages of convenience, of course. What we heard less about was Labour almost going under with their crippling debts. Unite stepped in and promised to honour Labour's debts. For ever.

So, no pay freezes in the public sector in the (extremely unlikely) event of a Labour election victory. Forget the efficiency savings, and necessary cost cutting. It would be full steam ahead and spend, spend, spend - and let the private sector take all the pain.

Another marriage made in hell. I hate to think what they are already discussing in their pillow talk:

"A word in your ear, Darling"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Let's have massive tax rises right across the board - how about a basic rate of 40%?"
"But the voters will never swallow that, dearest"
"Oh, who cares? We've got a whole parliament ahead of us, and remember who holds the purse strings. Let's have an 80% top rate too."
"Oh, okay, then. Er, isn't that a bit much also?"
"No, it's too lenient if anything. Perhaps we should go for 90% instead."
"You know best, dear."

Well, maybe not. But there is much talk of dishonesty about public spending at the moment. We have no choice, cuts need to be made, and I have little doubt that the Tories will make them. Probably by more than 10% too. Actually, so will Labour. So maybe Brown's talk of Tory cuts and his pretence that these cuts won't happen under him is just to appease Labour's new bedfellows?

Expect more lies, damned lies and statistics from all sides all the way up to the election.

The Superiority Complex

Politicians, on the whole, are an arrogant bunch.

They lie. They cheat. They make promises in their manifestos which they never intend to keep - stand up Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown - then when the time comes to deliver, they turn around and tell us that because they know better than us their manifestos no longer apply and they won't be fulfilling those commitments. It's not just Labour and the Lib Dems, I have little doubt that Cameron too will break promises once he is elected.

They claim for ridiculous items on expenses in order to increase their income, because they think they are worth more than the sixty-odd grand they are paid per year, when most of us would dearly love to earn half their salaries. Then they force us taxpayers to subsidise their drinks in the houses of parliament, while the rest of us plebs have to pay ever bigger duties on alcohol. No wonder our pubs are dying. Still, as long as the bars in the Commons are still going, who cares about the great unwashed?

Politicians have a superiority complex. They think they are better than us.

Mad Pig Disease

We’ve already had mad cow disease - Bovin Spongiform Encephalopathy - now it’s Porcine Spongersform Expensesapathy. Yes, that's right, mad Westminster porkers running around higgledy piggledy in a state of panic at the impending election, wondering if anybody is going to vote for them. Unfortunately for them, they’re really sty-mied this time as there's a hog roast this weekend.

The best solution, of course, is to remove the brain and spinal column of the infected porker. Regrettably, it has been painfully apparent these last few years that very few of these piggies are in possession of a brain, and even fewer a backbone. These are clearly hopeless cases.

Now all that is required for history to come full circle is for the John Selwyn Gummer moment, where some unfortunate cabinet minister is trotter-ed out before the cameras (remember, Brown doesn’t DO bad news) to feed shredded expenses forms to their offspring while insisting everything is perfectly safe. Yum-yum! Ham on the bone? Just feed it to the dog, then claim for the dog’s bowl on expenses.

Piggin' 'ell!

The Poisoned Chalice

Pointless speculation is everywhere. Will Brown face a leadership challenge following the local and European election results? Who are the frontrunners to take over? Frankly, who cares?

Nobody can save Labour now, they are doomed to defeat. Backbenchers may continue to drop hints to hacks as ever more ridiculous names are paraded in the media in the hope that the public will find one that is acceptable, but it is a forlorn and desperate hope. These selfish lobby fodder continue to plot in order to save their own hides when the day of reckoning comes, oblivious to the fact that the country no longer cares who leads the Labour party. All we want is a general election, as soon as possible.

Who would drink from the poisoned chalice now? The young pretenders suggested so far have many years front-line politics ahead of them if they wait until after the election. There seems little point in going over the top early, when the election could be over within a matter of months. Let's face it, somebody has to call time on this rotten parliament soon. Waiting until 2010 will only increase the scale of the defeat, as the calls for an immediate general election grow louder.

Doing the Honourable Thing

A quote from Kelvin MacKenzie:

“Gordon should take a bottle of brandy and a gun, go to a quiet room, have a drink, then blow his brains out. “

Admirable sentiments, but I fear Kelvin hasn’t thought that one through properly. Such is Gordon Brown’s competence that if tried to shoot himself, he would miss. In truth, Gordon is a local politician with delusions of adequacy who has been promoted way above his station. I fear much the same applies to the rest of the current cabinet. In Gordon’s favour, he has had a couple of years in the job, and that experience alone lifts him above those in his own party who plot to succeed him - though there is still very little between the hopeless and inept array of nonentities and numpties that make up the current government.

A change of governing party or parties is long overdue.

World owes US a debt - Gordon Brown

It's funny how Gordon Brown is trying to distance himself from the credit crunch. Apparently, it all started in America, or so he claims. The fact that other countries blame Britain just as much is something to be glossed over.

Brown was not always so keen to distance himself from Bush's policies. Not that very long ago he was going around telling everybody who would listen that the whole world owes the US a debt. That was, of course, back in the days when people were still listening to Gordon. In fact, I've just chanced upon an old BBC article along those lines:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6920877.stm

So you see, the world used to owe the US a debt. Now the US and the UK owe the rest of the world, and here in the UK it will take decades to pay that off.