We’ve already had mad cow disease - Bovin Spongiform Encephalopathy - now it’s Porcine Spongersform Expensesapathy. Yes, that's right, mad Westminster porkers running around higgledy piggledy in a state of panic at the impending election, wondering if anybody is going to vote for them. Unfortunately for them, they’re really sty-mied this time as there's a hog roast this weekend.
The best solution, of course, is to remove the brain and spinal column of the infected porker. Regrettably, it has been painfully apparent these last few years that very few of these piggies are in possession of a brain, and even fewer a backbone. These are clearly hopeless cases.
Now all that is required for history to come full circle is for the John Selwyn Gummer moment, where some unfortunate cabinet minister is trotter-ed out before the cameras (remember, Brown doesn’t DO bad news) to feed shredded expenses forms to their offspring while insisting everything is perfectly safe. Yum-yum! Ham on the bone? Just feed it to the dog, then claim for the dog’s bowl on expenses.
Piggin' 'ell!
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