How to Avoid Taxes on Booze

The government makes a fortune on alcohol taxes. For 1 litre of vodka 40% ABV the duty is around 8 quid.

We don't have to put up with this, it takes no more than 20 minutes to knock up a gallon of very nice white wine (plus a few weeks to ferment). That's about half a dozen bottles. The cost is about £1.30.

I like to have a few drinks maybe 3 or 4 nights a week, and by brewing my own I save hundreds of pounds every year in duty alone. Money that used to go to Gordon is now earning interest for me in building society accounts. On top of that, there's no VAT or expensive brand-name advertising to pay for, so I'm saving a good 4-figure sum in total, every single year.

All you do is dissolve a 1 kilo bag of sugar in water, then let it cool and pour into a sterilised demi-john. Add a 1 litre carton of cheap orange juice, a teaspoon of yeast and a teaspoon of pectolase from Wilko. Top up with cold tap water and leave for a couple of months.

Believe me, it's as good as anything you'll buy in the supermarket and you're paying 20p per bottle instead of £2.99. Best of all, the chancellor isn't getting his hands on your hard-earned money.