The Old Ones are the Best Ones

John Prescott, Charles Kennedy and Gordon Brown were stuck on the roof of the House of Commons in a thunderstorm. The rain was lashing down, and all three were worried that they might get struck by lightning at any time. Suddenly, the ghost of John Smith appeared in front of them. "Fear not," the apparition said, "I will act as your guardian angel. All you need do is jump off the roof, shout out what it is you want to land on, and you will descend safely and gently to the ground below."

Well, the three MPs were unsure at first, but none of them had much choice. John Prescott was the first to take a leap of faith, shouting "Meat pies" as he leapt from the roof of the building. Sure enough, he drifted slowly towards the ground, and landed in a pile of warm meat pies, which he started to devour.

Without a moment's hesitation, Charlie Kennedy was next. "Whisky!" came the cry, and he too glided gently down, landing in a vat of whisky below. Charles was in heaven.

This was too good an opportunity for Gordon Brown to miss, he was but a leap away from restoring his party's finances, and maybe the economy and his party's fortunes in the opinion polls too. As he contemplated which word to shout out, he lost his footing and tumbled head first from the roof.

"Shhhiiiiiittttt!!!!"