Saturday, January 17, 2009

Lib Dems' Odd Literature

The Lib Dems are distributing some very odd leaflets in Geoff Hoon's Constituency. Their literature displays a large bar graph showing the following election results for Ashfield:

Lab 16,735
Lib Dem 12,773
Con 5,406

All over the leaflets are plastered phrases like "The Conservatives can't win in Ashfield", "The Tories cannot win here!", and "Everyone knows the Conservatives cannot win in a constituency like Ashfield". They seem to be implying that only the Lib Dems can unseat Geoff Hoon.

Funny, that. Here are the last election results for Geoff Hoon's seat in 2005:

Lab 20,433
Con 10,220
Lib Dem 5,829

The Lib Dems' bar graphs are actually showing local election votes from a number of council seats across the area which were contested in 2007, yet at no point on the leaflet do they mention this. They always come a very distant third in the parliamentary election for Ashfield.

Of course, if the Tories "Cannot win here", what chance do the Lib Dems have, given that they barely scrape half as many votes? Perhaps most importantly, they might split the anti-Hoon vote if enough people take their misleading literature at face value, just as Geoff Hoon's own vote is collapsing...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Labour List

The LabourList site has been set up as a response to the dearth of good the left-leaning blogs. Good Luck to them.

Unfortunately, it requires an email address to register, presumably so that one might receive a daily email from the site's sponsors. While most sane citizens will decline, no doubt preferring to watch BBC1 for government propaganda, I have briefly turned my thoughts to the subject matter that may be contained within these regular briefings. As such, I wonder if the following text, or a variation thereof, might be considered:

"Dear Sir,

I write on behalf of my ailing client, a Mr. P. L. Party. Mr. Party is due to come into some money, donated to him by his unwitting patron, Mr. U. K. Taxee. However, in order to receive these funds, my client requires a 4th period in office to facilitate the transfer of the money. We urgently require your savings account details to complete the process of paying off our debts and securing another term in office, when we can arrange the transfer. In return, we will subsequently transfer to your savings account a sum of money to revive the economy. Alternatively, we can arrange for wheelbarrows of freshly-printed money to arrive in due course once the process of "quantitative easing" begins and the real money runs out.

Please indicate you are able to assist in this matter at the earliest opportunity.

Sincerely Sincere,

J. Brown A.Rse (Hons)"

Well, it's just a suggestion...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Selling Gordon Brown

Gordon Brow's tour of the constituencies which stand a chance of voting Labour at the election (ie those with Labour majorities of 5,000 and over) began today. I've just witnessed some dreadful footage on East Midlands Today.

Meeting the public, my foot. Nothing more than another piece of advertising, trying to sell us more unsaleable crap. New Labour Pedigree Chump, specially selected chunks of Labour-voting boneless jelly, in combination with mechanically-recovered Scottish corned beef. Tripe. Dog food, way past its sell-by-date. Brown mush, unfit for human consumption, relabelled by Alistair Campbell's Condensed and souped up for teatime. Best eaten with a wooden spoon.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Brown on Tour

I see the pensions thief is off on a three day tour of England and Wales to see the effects of the recession for himself. I wonder which constituencies and businesses he will be visiting?

This puts me in mind of a Spitting Image sketch many years ago, where, worried that his opinions might be out-of-touch, Prince Charles sent a flunky out into the street to find a "typical" member of the public. The flunky returned hours later, with a pearly king, remarking that it had been difficult to find someone who was really "typical" that day. On quizzing this most atypical subject, the Prince came to the conclusion that his views still echoed public opinion.

I'm guessing it could well take Gordon's planners the whole three days to find a "typical" business...